Spiraling

One night as I was heading home from a reunion with friends over the holidays and was mindlessly scrolling on TikTok, I came across a video showing how the planets actually moved around and with the sun. The video was far different from what we were taught in school where the position of the sun is fixed. In fact, the video showed that the sun was also traveling through space while bringing all eight (or nine, if you’re pro-Pluto) planets with it.

There is a certain unpredictability that is somewhat reassuring in learning about celestial bodies. It puts matters into perspective and places value in predictability and routine. One afternoon in September as I was about to meet friends for the screening of Past Lives, I took a quick detour to my then-newly discovered coffee place to grab an iced coffee.

My friends surprised me with a care package that contained my go-to comfort food, culled from an extensive, elaborate list provided by my siblings with interesting entries: Ding-dong mixed nuts (black), meat loaf and corned beef for breakfast, what I order in Jollibee and McDonald’s, and about five different types of iced coffee, including, coincidentally and in between bouts of incredulous laughter, the same exact cup of iced coffee I bought right before meeting them.

2023, especially for me, cannot be reduced into mere lists or bullet points, however detailed or abbreviated. In my five-year Hobonichi planner I tried to track the year based on what I was thankful for, by converting a section of each day’s entry into a gratitude journal of sorts. Reading through the pages was thoroughly enjoyable as I was confronted with my old, predictable self mirrored in recurring entries: naps, rainy days, naps during rainy days, fresh sheets, Nanyang, “home-cooked spaghetti”, and late night runs to Dangwa followed by visits to my Tita the following morning. I even tried tallying the entries by category: food (92 times), family (86), friends (101), and flying solo (47). I was rarely grateful about work (19).

In defense of my predictable self, some unique appearances: winning in charades, an SNL episode featuring Aubrey Plaza, the overwhelming response from strangers when I asked for help for my mom’s medication, the Succession finale, my favorite 2-letter edition of NYT Connections, my first therapy session, buying a discounted office chair, a debate with a friend whether it’s cheesecake tiramisu or tiramisu cheesecake, and watching the Fleabag movie in a cinema packed with people who truly look like they are fans of Fleabag (you know who you are).

In the spirit of passing on the kindness I received (as exhibited by how immensely thankful I was the past year), here are some tips I have for those who will be going through a major life event in 2024 which may or may not be related to the Bar examinations: (1) do not listen to anyone, never compare, and go at your own pace; (2) the human mind is a frail one, take note of every generosity that will come your way as the information will be handy during the darkest of days; and (3) it is okay to spiral.

In the same TikTok doomscroll I also saw a video downplaying the celebration of the new year, implying that it is somewhat overrated to cheer a complete revolution of the Earth around the Sun because it basically ended on the same spot where it started- so nothing changed. Armed with scientific knowledge from another TikTok video, I can confidently say that a New Year celebration is in fact a lot more meaningful, because the Earth will never be in the same location at any given time in space as it spirals with the entire solar system across the universe.

Happy spiraling.